The result is that for most of us, unless we make a concerted conscious effort to override these natural fears, the fears will inevitably hold us back in every aspect of our lives. 

Often, all we know is that we are not where we want to be in life and are not with the person we really want.  Often our entire lives and futures would change, if we just took that momentary risk... if we just tried!  But that internal voice of fear convinces us to simply accept the status quo...  We don't get the girl and we don't get the job.  

How to Overcome Our Fears?
Face them!  When fear is stopping you or slowing you down, Ask this simple question.

"If I do this, what is the very worst thing that can happen?"  
     Might you hear no?  Then just say it, ask it, do it! 
     Might you fail and have to start over?  Then Just Do it!...
If the answer to the question is "you'll probably die",  maybe hold off :-)  Otherwise...

• Do you like her?  Ask her out!

• Do you want more money?  Ask for a raise or apply for that promotion!  Or take a course that leads to a new and better career.  Or, give that business a chance, etc...

• What if She says no?-  Yes, it'll hurt for a bit.  But otherwise you are in the same position you were in yesterday... only now you can stop wasting your time pining over her and find your true soul mate!

  • But what if she says yes!!??

   

• What if you don't get the job?  So what?  Work harder, study more and try again!

  • But what if you DO get the job!?

Realize usually the worst thing that can happen is that you hear some derivative of "no". 

But what if you succeed?  She says yes?  You get the job? 

Your entire life changes!

Never allow deep seated subconscious fears stop you!
Remember, you live in the 21st Century...  Personal rejection won't kill you.  A financial set back or business failure will not destroy you.  All are uncomfortable, but they are simply part of the process.

If you don't try, you accomplish a remarkable feat... and not in a good way. 

If you don't try you actually strike out, you lose!...  and you didn't even swinging the bat!  That's no way to live your life! 
By allowing fears to stop us:

True, you didn't fail, but neither did you succeed.  We obtained none of our desires or goals, not because they were beyond us, and not because we tried and failed... but because we failed to even try!   If you spend your life focusing on avoiding failure and rejection, at some point in your future, you will regret it.  Not what you did, but all you didn't do. 

Do any of us want to regretfully look back in sorrow, wondering who and what we could have been?  How many lives did we not touch or help?  Regretting our many accomplishments that never were?  Wondering how much more could we have provided for ourselves, our children our families?...   All these doubts, questions, regrets...  just to avoid the momentary embarrassment of a rejection or a short term failure?

We must not handcuff our lives that way.  Why would anyone choose to live their lives as if they lost... without even stepping into the game?   

"Even a dead fish can swim downstream". 

Where is the glory or happiness in never failing?   A life in which we simply accept the status to which we were born or following the easiest path regardless of where it leads is little better than  living our lives like a dead fish floating down a slow and winding stream.  Like the fish we are at the complete mercy of our surroundings.   You are not a fish!  You can choose where you go, what you do... you really are in control and always have been.  But taking control always starts with accepting the risks that come with action and the confidence they bring.  

You take control and begin improving your life by first taking a chance.  Feeling great about yourself and your life comes from accomplishments that can never be unless we have the courage to act and to risk i.e. take a chance.  We must first find the courage to ask, the courage to try, the courage to compete!  True, you'll lose some times (but you will survive)... and sometimes you'll also win!...

With the win comes more confidence.  With more confidence comes the willingness to try again.  The more you try, the better you get, the more wins (and losses) you will experience.  Each loss reminds you they are not deadly.  Each win expands your confidence and more confidence lessens your fears of failure and rejection while at the same time increasing your competence.  Every attempt, win or lose makes you better.  In time, whatever it is you do, you will not just be good, you will be GREAT! 

It all starts with finding the original courage needed to take those first steps, to act; even though there is  no guarantee of success... maybe even a reasonable possibility of failure.  Remember, you don't have to be great to start... but you have to start to become great.  Without the willingness and the courage to experience rejection, occasional setbacks and temporary failures we have little more control of our life's trajectory than does that dead fish floating down the stream.

HOW MUCH ARE YOUR DEFENSE MECHANISMS COSTING YOU?

True, by not reaching out to your crush or going for the promotion, you avoided the momentary embarrassment of a rejection or short term failure.  Congratulations, you didn't fail.  But for your career you also settled for "good enough", rather than better... or in your personal life you guaranteed the man or woman of your dreams will not be in your life!  What kind of trade off is that?

 By avoiding that moment of POSSIBLE rejection you GUARANTEE lifelong loss!

HOW WOULD ANYONE DO THIS?

Who would ever make a conscious decision that guarantees they will never have the man or woman of their dreams...  even worse make that decision solely to avoid the possibility of one awkward moment??   

No one would ever do this consciously...

However, Millions do it SUB CONCIOUSLY every day!

It's important to realize that whether in love or business, every time we hesitate or fail to act because of a fear of rejection or failure, we are allowing an irrational primal fear to cause the loss of some of our most precious possibilities.  We're letting them eliminate even the most remote chance of having the relationship of our dreams, the desired promotion or business opportunity that can change your life...  And this happens, not because you aspired to the impossible dream, or because the objective is out of reach, but because the inaction caused by these fears guaranteed it would never happen!   

Never forget this fact:

If we never place ourselves in a position to fail...  

We never place ourselves in a position to succeed!

Never fear failure or rejection.  Neither will hurt you.  Neither will kill you.   

On the other hand, by taking that simple, minor risk, you may very well change your life in ways you can scarcely imagine!

Take a chance... Chase that dream!

Do you know someone dealing with these types of issues?  HELP THEM! Share this information with them.  Remember, the first stop to overcoming this or any other negative tendency is to recognize it exists and where it comes from.